When in.... Bed...

Shalom Friends,

It has been just over a week since my life altering medical procedure took place. I am feeling pretty inconsistent lately. One moment  I feel like the Von Trapp children, rolling through the meadow and singing about drops of golden sun. The next moment I feel as low as Nancy Kerrigan after she got bladed by Tonya Harding. Needless to say, my emotions are all over the place and so is my energy. But, I can tell you this much- what I lack in energy, I make up for in gas. If my Grandma lights a match in this house…. All of DuPage County will go up in flames. The house wreaks of sulfur, rotisserie chicken and jack daniels- and that’s on a good day.

Anyways, I am still confined to a small 6 by 8 space. Now I know how OJ must feel.  I have different activities that keep me occupied and make the time go by faster. I am an avid tiddly wink player, a whiz at hungry hungry hippos and I have mastered the art of pick up sticks. However, there is one game that I haven’t conquered- Where’s Waldo! Well, I don’t know where the hell Waldo is because I can never find him. I would have an easier time flying to Afghanistan drunk and blindfolded and finding Osama Bin Laden. My mom says that I can do anything that I put my mind to, but sometimes I don’t believe her. Sure, I am a smart lad with a smokin’ hot bod, but sometimes I feel like I try to take on too much. I would tell you more, but I should probably speak with my therapist about this first.

 

Now back to what I was saying. My days are long and my nights sometimes feel like an eternity. I am only allowed human visitors and I miss my fellow furballs. What I would give to be able to buy a bag of catnip from PJ and light it up while watching Fantasia.  But right now that is just a fantasy. My real world is waking up startled to nightmares that I was a Lhasa Apso/ Shih Tzu mix. These nightmares are not ok!

As the next few days pass, I anticipate a spike in hormones, productivity and four legged visitors. For now, I will go back to watching re-runs of I Love Lucy and listening to Bohemian Rhapsody on repeat.

Signing off,

Phoenix Jaquim Aslan